Category Archives: I am Muslimah

Terima kasih ya Allah.

Alhamdulillah. Boleh berjumpa dengan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak lagi ;). Rasa sangat gembira dengan kesempatan ini. Panjang umur saya lagi. Ini adalah kali ke6 saya meraikan Ramadhan di Belanda. Sudah sinonim dengan waktu yang panjang serta tiada keriuhan bazar Ramadhan seperti di Malaysia. Yang ada adalah kudrat saya sendiri untuk menyediakan makanan khas buat keluarga.

 

Bercakap tentang Ramadhan, sememangnya saya amat gembira dan teruja bekerja bulan mulia ni. Salah satu sebabnya doa kita pada bulan ini lebih senang dimakbulkan. Jadi saya mengambil peluang bekerja dan berfikiran positif selalu disamping mendoakan yang baik-baik untuk perjalanan PhD saya. Halangan ini harus saya atasi dengan baik, mungkin tak cemerlang tapi siap lebih baik dari terbengkalai kan.

 

Alhamdulillah, Allah mendengar rintihan saya. Barangkali disebabkan ibu bapa saya datang ke sini tempoh hari selepas itu semua kerja menjadi lancar. Bahkan dalam masa sebulan lepas saya mula bina model baru ini, saya dah boleh dapatkan keputusan dari model. Kedua supervisor sangat gembira, teruja, terkejut pun ada melihat kerja saya siap. Bukan itu sahaja, saya berjaya menulis sambil membina model, walau tak sempurna tapi supervisor boleh faham apa saya tulis. Perbincangan dalam mesyuarat juga berjalan lancar dan saya dapat beroleh input berguna untuk terus menyiapkan dan menyempurnakan model saya.

 

Justeru, wajar saya ucapkan kesyukuran yang tinggi. Amin ya Rabbal ‘alamin. Terima kasih sungguh Ya Allah. Susah bersengkang mata sebulan ni Allah balas terus. Semoga berkekalan harapan saya nikmat ini. Saya juga berharap Allah dapat lembutkan hati reviewer yang menilai paper ketiga saya. Memang berharap agar dapat diterbitkan secepat mungkin supaya saya dapat graduat dalam waktu yang ditetapkan.

 

BUat rakan-rakan di luar sana, ayuh mencuba dan selalu berfikiran positif. Doa banyak-banyak dan juga mohon ibu bapa mendoakan juga untuk kita. Pastikan juga suami dan anak terjaga dan faham situasi kita yang sedang bertarung ni. Keredhaan suami yang paling penting.

 

Jangan lupa ucapkan kesyukuran.


Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku

37 minggu

Sangat beremosi sebab banyak sakit. Baby Iskandar (2.5kg) memang sudah berpusing ke bawah sejak minggu ke 32. Tapi kepalanya sangat ke bawah. Saya memang selalu sakit-sakit bila nak jalan, bertukar posisi masa tidur dan semasa duduk untuk kerja. Saya sangat sedih. Bukan apa, ingatkan dapat kerja sampai beranak, sekali Allah berikan ujian sebegini.

Untuk kurangkan kesakitan, saya tak makan panadol sebaliknya saya tidur. Tapi yang pelik, tidurnya boleh berjam-jam waktu petang. Malam tidur lagi. Harap cukuplah tenaga bila nak beranak nanti. Saya pun sudah beritahu midwife yang saya nak beranak di rumah. Midwife bersetuju dan memberitahu saya bila nak telefon mereka.

Semoga saya dapat melahirkan bayi dengan selamat, inshaAllah.


Time off from PhD: Is home birth worth to try?

My third paper was sadly, rejected.

Bukan rezeki saya.

The editor decided to reject it based on not so negative comments given by the reviewers. There is nothing in the reviewers comments that indicate my method is wrong and we were suprised on why the editor made that decision solely on reviewers comments. The upgrading of the paper is basically on re-defining and clarifying some things and adjusting or rephrasing the sentences. So, nothing to do with data analysis again which made me happy! (Dalam sedih ada jugak berita gembira)

Life goes on. What I have discussed with my supervisor yesterday was that we will submit it to another journal within this 2 weeks. My take this time for the news was far more better than I have expected, more positive and I took it as one of the ways to improve my scientific writing skills.

What I also felt was gladness that I received the news on my 34th week of pregnancy. (36 weeks pregnant ladies are not allowed to step into the office anymore-its the law here). Since a submitted paper requires a waiting period, I hope being off from PhD during my maternity leave with a submitted paper is efficient. Though my fourth objective seemed to fell apart (tak jalan-jalan), I hope being off from it to celebrate my family life for a while, gives me a higher motivation later on. You will be surprised how your child made you to do anything ;p and how limitation of time makes you work efficiently..

Now that I am focusing more on my pregnancy leave, a birth plan is something I have to think about.Why? Because here there ia another option that we did not have in Malaysia: a home birth. In the Netherlands, it is legal and received a huge amount of support especially if you are a low risk person. This is because Dutch people treat pregnancy as something which is natural and not a sickness. That is of course if you have no underlying illness. Well, I am one of them. Despite being skinny and small, I am healthy and my baby too alhamdulillah developed normally and within the average range. My placenta which was very low at 20 weeks had moved upwards and I am not at risk for placenta previa anymore. This means, I am clear to decide if a home birth is really what I want.

I’ve met with people who did it. They all agree its nice to do it at home. But what do you know about other things? Surely there must be things that could go wrong or unexpected things that happened. I gave birth once, and my pain threshold is not that good. So I am now researching about all sorts of things and stories written regarding home birth to overcome that fear. Apart from that, it is also nice talking about my fear, hope and expectations of the home birth delivery. It lets other people know about how you feel, and maybe gives more support which in the end can make you fell better. I do not have any stories to tell, yet. What I need now is confidence.

InshaAllah, planning with du’as and prayers to Allah will make this a smooth journey.